Greg Ostertag

This has to be addressed before the USC-Ohio State game kicks off (which means I have exactly 38 seconds to write this article.  Watch the grammar and punctuation devolve as I near the finish line)…

The Portland Trail Blazers had Greg Ostertag work out for them last week as a possible replacement for injured rookie Jeff Pendergraph.

Let that sink in and marinate for a minute…

This is kind of like President Obama appointing Wyatt Earp to be his National Security Advisor.  Ostertag has been so irrelevent the last few years in the basketball world that he might as well be the long-dead cowboy.

The similarity between the two doesn’t end there.  Notice the grainy black and white photograph of Earp above this paragraph?  Color film was still in it’s nascence the last time Ostertag scored a point.  Every basket he’s made has been in black and white.

For people unfamiliar with who exactly Greg Ostertag is, remember the big white guy Jerry Sloan used to scream at?  That was him.  Still unsure?  Google Image any NBA player’s name; Ostertag will be the guy getting dunked on in the picture.

Even Sabonis dunked on him

It’s hard to imagine how Ostertag can help the organization.  I doubt the locker room would listen to him as a veteran leader and any on-court production he could provide would be minimal.  Maybe he gives really good back rubs.