Because it’s the greatest thing I’ve seen since LaGarrette Blount punched that guy here is the address to Channing Frye’s blog.
I should add that I don’t condone what Blount did. He embarassed the program and should be at minimum suspended. It’ll be interesting to see how this affects the program going forward (this season and beyond). A savvy person might see this incident as a way to make a national statement that players are held accountable at Oregon. Nice little recruiting pitch to parents in the future, right?
Someone wanted me to write about losing Channing Frye to Phoenix and because I’d like them to maybe visit once or twice again I’ll oblige. That’s called customer service, ladies and gentlemen. Since Channing was a quirky guy I’ll go the same route in my analysis. Without further ado, a haiku about Channing.
A streaky shooter
He resembled Nick Cannon
Will be missed somewhat
And how about a limerick?
Had a girl’s name
And a girl’s game?
His good nature made me all smiley
But he probably couldn’t guard Ruth Riley
Won’t make Hall of Fame.
All teasing aside I think Channing is a great guy and a good player who has yet to find the right situation. Hope it’s in Phoenix.
Loyal followers of my Blazers season prospectus (Hi Mom!) will have to wait a bit for the next update because another sport just started (or ended, depending on how you look at it). I’m talking about college football and the mighty Ducks of Oregon.
After weeks of heated debate over what uniform combination the team should wear (I personally wanted the pink sequined jerseys with fuchsia helmets and sparkly shoes) Oregon faced off against the No. 14 Boise State Broncos in an opening-night showdown that lived up to none of the expectations. Neither team scored a lot. Neither team played well. And, quite frankly (I promise that is the last time my blog will relate in any way to Stephen A. “Cheese Doodle” Smith), neither team deserved to win.
Congratulations to Boise State. They were clearly the less bad team tonight and will walk away with one victory and one less tooth, courtesy of a right hook by Clubber Lang– I mean LaGarrette Blount. Think that fat kid is going to talk any more trash this season?
Don't talk no trash to LaGarrette
Blount deserves to be suspended for the punch, although you could make the case that he simply took the new NCAA sportsmanship rules about taunting to an extreme. Ridicule an opponent, get punched in the face. Kind of like a shock collar for a dog. Thank goodness for that contrived pre-game handshake, though. Things could have really gotten out of hand otherwise.
One final note: Chris Peterson is a class act. Makes losing to the Broncos a little less painful.
The Good: Finally getting healthy, has shown flashes of dominance when on the court. Already a dominant rebounder.
The Bad: Dakota Fanning has been on the court about as much as Oden. And she probably has about as good of a jump hook.
The Ugly: Picture to the left is probably the best “action” shot of his young basketball career so far. Is both a babe magnet (see left) and, unfortunately, a foul magnet (see historic foul rate)
The Good: Fan favorite who already holds an NBA record. Really nice hair. Sweet chin stubble.
The Bad: Who will buy matching sweaters with him now that Sergio is gone? Spindly body almost snapped in half when Trevor “Just Call Me Jerome James 2.0” Ariza took him out… what will happen if Greg accidentally sits on him?
The Ugly: Most other NBA players by comparison (is it too obvious I have a man crush on him?).
With the NBA season fast approaching it’s time to assess the Blazers’ prospects. This is a highly objective (and by that I mean viewed through red-tinted sunglasses with my Greg Oden bobblehead inches away) analysis of each player on the team and what they will bring, The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly style.
The Good: One of the best players in the league, leader of this team for the next decade.
The Bad: Paul Allen’s billions have yet to figure out a way to clone him. I’ve already decided to name my first child Roy and my second Brandon (in that order so no one thinks I’m too weird)
The Ugly: I’ll name my first two kids Roy and Brandon regardless of their gender.
The Good: Rasheed Wallace without the sociopathic tendencies. Also has a variety of cool nicknames (L-Train, LMA, Llama).
The Bad: Still hasn’t signed an extension. Could this become a problem going forward?
The Ugly: How he runs. Bambi looks like Usain Bolt in comparison.
This is my first foray into blogging and I’m a little unsure what to write about but I hope this entertains. Or at least doesn’t offend. Very little happened to me today, although I did venture far beyond the cozy constraints of campus to a barber shop that went by the inspired name of “Barber Shop”. The haircut went okay except for one frightening episode where a shirtless man burst in through the front door and stared at me for several seconds before walking out. Tyrone Biggums (Chappelle Show fans should recognize this name) could not have been more convincing. As I sat cowering in the barber’s chair two indelible truths crossed my mind.
1. Crack is in fact whack
2. It’s time to grow my hair out into a ponytail.
What’s hot right now: the temperature, Megan Fox (this will remain a constant), carne asada tacos
What’s not: getting your hair cut at scary places, LMA still without an extension